


Two Friends and a Wife

by Sam KW (samudee)



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-25
Updated: 2013-11-25
Packaged: 2018-01-02 14:02:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1057649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samudee/pseuds/Sam%20KW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Starsky is never a Starsky unless he messes up  a simple story, and makes Hutch's life miserable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Friends and a Wife

Starsky and Hutch were at the St. Paul, Minneapolis airport, waiting to get back to BayCity after attending Hutch's sister's wedding. An old couple sat right in front of Starsky. The old lady's glasses kept slipping onto her nose, and she pushed it upwards every other minute. Starsky had been talking to the old lady as if she were his bosom buddy; what they were speaking about, Hutch didn't want to know.

"How come you don't have a seat when you booked your flight two months before I did?" asked Starsky for the hundredth time.

Hutch ignored him. Was it his fault that the airline bookings had put him on hold without assigning him a seat right away? He grabbed the InQuest magazine Starsky had bought at the airport. He read the headlines, shaking his head. Celebrities and their lives were shamelessly flashed across the pages over and over. This was not Starsky's type of magazines. "Why did you get this?" Hutch asked.

"That's all that was left. Something is better than anything."

"Nothing." Hutch corrected him.

"What?"

" _Something_ is better than _nothing_."

"That's what I said."

Hutch shook his head and glanced through the pages. "Hey, Starsk, look here," he said turning over the pages. "Jake Sommer's friend's wife is pregnant with his kid."

Starsky didn't seem to be interested. He shrugged his shoulders. "Didn't know Jake Sommer was married. Who's his wife?" he asked.

"I don't know about his wife, or whether he even has a wife." Hutch said irritatingly. Why couldn't Starsky listen to what he says, just for once? God knows what his partner's head was filled with.

"But you said Sommer's wife is pregnant," Starsky said.

"No!" Hutch said firmly. "I said his friend's wife. FRIEND'S wife."

"Are they gay?" asked Starsky, his brows drawn together in confusion.

"Who?" Hutch had no idea where that came from.

"Sommer's wife and her friend." Starsky answered.

"You got to be kidding me!" Hutch muttered.

Starsky looked more confused. "But you said his wife's friend is pregnant with her kid!"

"Starsky! What's wrong with you?" Hutch snapped.

Both the old lady and her husband turned their attention towards Hutch, looking at him in displeasure, obviously because Hutch had raised his voice.

"Sorry," Hutch smiled apologetically to her and turned back to Starsky and lowered his voice. "I said his _friend's wife_!" Hutch wished he could shake Starsky until his bones rattled and crumpled inside his body. Oh, how he wished!

"So you were not talking about Sommer's wife? Tell me again- _who_ is pregnant here?" asked Starsky turning fully towards Hutch.

Hutch sighed. "Sommer's friend's wife."

"Ah! _Friend's wife_! So… who's this friend?" Starsky asked.

"Joe Brown. They were college buddies." Hutch made a mental note to never discuss, talk, or even vaguely mention anything he reads in these goddamn magazines, again.

"So what's the big deal with someone getting pregnant, anyway? Did they have a problem with having babies or what?"

Hutch sighed impatiently. "Just forget it. I shouldn't have said anything."  

"Why not?" Starsky got interested, naturally, right when Hutch had given up on the story. "Some kind of a secret between Brown and his wife?"

" _What_? No. _No_. I don't know! Listen! It's nothing, okay? It was just a piece of news." Hutch wanted to shove the stupid magazine and everything that came with it down Starsky’s throat.

"Why would a woman getting pregnant make headlines? I mean she is supposed to have babies with him, anyway. So what's this fuss?" Starsky asked.

"Have babies with whom?" the question rolled off of Hutch's tongue even if he didn’t want to continue with the conversation.

"With her _husband_! Who else?" Starsky asked surprised. "What's wrong with you, Hutch? Didn't you just say that Brown's wife and her friend-" Starsky paused. And his face lit up. He snapped his fingers. "Ohh… now I get it. Brown's wife's friend is pregnant with Brown's kid! Right? Why didn’t you say so in the first place?"

Hutch shook his head. Starsky was utterly hopeless.

"Who is Brown, anyway? Never heard of him." Starsky asked.

"He is Sommer's friend! And I didn't say anything about Brown getting anyone pregnant!"

"Then how did the friend get pregnant? Was it Sommer, then?"

"Yes! It _was_ Sommer! That's what I have been trying to tell you all this time. But it wasn't the friend. It was the wife!"

"Sommer's wife?"

Hutch got up, slapping the magazine against Starsky's chest. "You!" he pointed his finger at Starsky dangerously. "You stay the hell away from me."

Starsky, mouth wide opened, watched Hutch move to the bench in front of him and sit next to the old lady. He shrugged his shoulders and glanced at the magazine Hutch had dumped on him. He read the first few sentences of Jake Sommer scandal.

"Hey, Hutch!" he called and leaned forward. "You have got this all mixed up. It's _Sommer_ who got _Brown's wife_ pregnant."

Starsky turned around to the old couple who was watching the whole scene unfolding in front of them. "My friend- Hutch," said Starsky, flicking his thumb towards Hutch and flashing his thousand Watt smile. "He gets everything mixed up."

The old couple nodded sympathetically at Starsky. "You are a good friend to still associate with him even after all the damage and pain he has caused you," said the old lady.

"Huh?" asked Hutch. Now what did she mean by that? What did _he_ do? It was _Starsky_ who made a mess out of a simple news story. It was _Starsky_ who had made Hutch's life miserable!

The old lady turned towards Hutch. "You should be more responsible," she said staring at him over her glasses. "You look like a nice boy, but I don't think you should've got his wife pregnant!" she said, tipping her head towards Starsky.

 

*************************************** END **************************************


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